Yes We Can! NFL Style.

Those Who Can’t Play, Write

By Chad Brown

What are my thoughts about the NFL ’08 season? I feel like I’ve gone away from blogging for a few weeks and the playing field is turned upside down! In the words of Vince Lombardi “What the hell’s going on out there?” OK, the Lions still stink, thank goodness for that league staple. Anyway, I’ll have more to say about this season in subsequent weeks. For now, in honor of President-Elect Barack Obama, here are 32 editions of Yes We Can. No matter how prolific or how putrid your favorite team’s season is right now, more (or less) is always possible. Also, while we at Alpha Blog Sports congratulate the Democrats on winning the White House, there will be no excessively favorable coverage for Chicago or DC’s sports scenes. I have, however, petitioned the writing staff of The Office for a Joe Biden appearance sometime this season.

NFC East Yes We Can…
New York Giants (8-1), lead the division and conference. ’07 was no fluke.

Washington Redskins (6-3), compete for a wild-card spot in Jim Zorn’s first season as head coach.

Dallas Cowboys (5-4), play better at quarterback than Brad Johnson. By the way, T.O. had nothing to do with this one.

Philadelphia Eagles (5-4), continue to screw up short yardage and goal line situations that cost us football games.


NFC North, Yes We Can…
Chicago Bears (5-4), stop the run and rush the quarterback. Overcoming Rex Grossman is another story.

Minnesota Vikings (5-4), make a run at the NFC Norse title as long as Adrian Peterson is running wild and opposing quarterbacks are giving up safeties.

Green Bay Packers (4-5), return interceptions for touchdown with alarming frequency. Gotta cross “beat the Vikings anytime, anywhere, any way” off the list.

Detroit Lions (0-9), earn the first pick in the ’09 draft and not blow it on a wide receiver.


NFC South, Yes We Can…
Carolina Panthers (7-2), have one of the worst passing days ever and still beat the Raiders handily.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-3), extend Florida’s run of good luck with a playoff berth and at least one more quarterback change.

Atlanta Falcons (6-3), continue to make everybody forget that the ’07 season ever happened. Bobby who?

New Orleans Saints (4-5), hope that Drew Brees’ arm compensates for our non-existent defense.


NFC West, Yes We Can…
Arizona Cardinals (6-3), provide University of Phoenix Stadium with a playoff game involving the home tenants.

San Francisco 49ers (2-7), keep Mike Singletary’s volume down (questionable) and his pants up (probable, we hope).

Seattle Seahawks (2-7), produce more moral victories than actual ones in Mike Holmgren’s swan season.

St. Louis Rams (2-7), open up the head coaching search to candidates beyond Jim Haslett.


AFC East, Yes We Can…
New England Patriots (6-3), still come to play each week no matter which offensive or defensive stalwart gets hurt.

New York Jets (6-3), get through a sentence about this improved team without mentioning a certain grizzled, gun slinging, game managing quarterback.

Miami Dolphins (5-4), show what a difference the Tuna and a legitimate quarterback make. Stone crabs for everybody

Buffalo Bills (5-4), reminisce fondly about the days of 4-0 and first place. Where have they gone?


AFC North, Yes We Can…
Pittsburgh Steelers (6-3), join the Patriots in taking the Manning brothers off the team’s Christmas card mailing list.

Baltimore Ravens (6-3), enjoy having a productive and creative offense to complement that suffocating defense.

Cleveland Browns (3-6), have two goals for the rest of the season; play hard regardless of the score and avoid further staph infections.

Cincinnati Bengals (1-8), avoid being victory free and keep our players out of court.


AFC South, Yes We Can…
Tennessee Titans (9-0), bring the pain and bring the AFC South title to a southern-based team, for once.

Indianapolis Colts (5-4), credit Peyton Manning alone for about three of those wins and staying in the wild-card hunt.

Jacksonville Jaguars (4-5), run the ball again, even if only against the Lions.

Houston Texans (3-6), hope that Andre Johnson returns to his October form. Unbelievable!


AFC West, Yes We Can…
Denver Broncos (5-4), plan to outscore everybody down the stretch because the defense is _______ (fill in the blank).

San Diego Chargers (4-5), be the best NFL team in California by default.

Oakland Raiders (2-7), count the weeks until this season is over.

Kansas City Chiefs (1-8), play to win the game, even if that means coming up agonizingly short as of late.

Some random ish about Sports and Politics -- Seven Signs of the Apocalypse

From the possible resurrection of the Cold War, to the shocking sight of Roy Jones Jr. being toyed with in the ring, and newfound sanity in Knicksland, here are seven signs our world will never be the same.


1. The Evil Empire is back. No, I'm not referring to the New York Yankees who figure to break the bank this offseason by opening the vault in a bid to sign free agent standouts like C.C. Sabathia, A.J. Burnett and Mark Teixeira. I'm referring to Russia, the brooding giant who's looking to re-establish itself as a dominant international player following the humiliating collapse of the Soviet Union. Puppet-master Vladimir Putin looks like he's itching to test President-elect Barack Obama. The day after the U.S. celebrated Obama's historic win, a stone-faced Kremlin said it would station missiles near Poland -- a NATO protectorate. Are we in store for a Cold War sequel?

2. And speaking of tests, looks like Mike D'Antoni survived his first major one since taking over as coach of the New York Knicks. The frenetic New York media made 'much a do' about nothing regarding D'Antoni's decision to excommunicate Stephon Marbury from the active roster. After arriving for training camp in arguably the best shape of his life, Marbury played well during the preseason and appeared willing to play the good soldier in his final year as a Knick. But D'Antoni apparently wants no part of Marbury, benching the $21.9 million point guard. Despite chants of "We Want Steph," from fans and hot-headed criticism of the move on the airwaves and in the tabloids, D'Antoni is sticking to his guns. And the Knicks are 4-2. Sanity finally reigns at Madison Square Garden.

3. Speaking of MSG, hopefully this is the last time we'll ever see former champ Roy Jones Jr. in a boxing ring. Jones was pummeled at the Garden Saturday night by undefeated Welsh legend Joe Calzaghe in a bout that should end Jones' viability as a pay-per-view caliber fighter. In a sight that conjured images of a washed-up Muhammad Ali being battered at the hands of Larry Holmes, Jones covered up and absorbed a total beating over the final 11 rounds of the bout. After enduring a first round knockdown, Calzaghe overwhelmed Jones -- who bled profusely for the first time in his career after the Welshman opened a nasty gash over the former champ's left eye. And since he couldn't knock him out, Calzaghe proceeded to mock and taunt the helpless Jones, who gamely fought to go the distance.

4. While the sight of Roy Jones Jr. being utterly humiliated was strange, an even stranger sight will be tolls booths on the East River crossings if New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has his way ... Slowly but surely, the little guy is being priced out.

5. Speaking of being priced out, longtime Jets season ticket holders Bob Yost and Stephen Giaramita won't be attending Jets games when the club moves into its new home next season. In order to keep their lower-level seats on the 49-yard line in the new stadium, Yost and Giarmita would have to pay the club $25,000 for the right to buy their tickets. Then they'd pay $700 a game for the seats. The Jets and Giants -- who'll share the new stadium -- say the fees are necessary to foot the bill for their shiny new $1.7 billion stadium. Did these teams really NEED a stadium this expensive? Six years ago, the New England Patriots and Philadelphia Eagles opened gleaming new buildings which cost a tad over $300 million to build -- in a much better economic climate no less.

6. Too bad Denver Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall wasn't able to make his tribute to President-elect Barack Obama after scoring a touchdown Thursday night. Marshall planned to commemorate Obama's historic victory by putting on a black and white glove and raising his fist in a move reminiscent of Tommie Smith and Juan Carlos' black power salute at the 1968 Olympics. He was stopped by teammates since such a move would have resulted in a 15-yard penalty, which could have been crucial in such a tight game. But maybe, just maybe -- wrong was right this time, and winning a game wasn't the most important thing.

7. On another note, why does New York Jets kicker Jay Feely wear large gloves on each hand in relatively warm weather? He's a kicker. Last I checked that means he doesn't catch, block, pass, tackle -- or really anything that gloves may assist him with.