Those Who Can’t Play, Write
By Chad Brown
“3 Sports reporters of the year, yeah we’re back to work,
I took time off, while other bloggers got jerked
Due to the fact they’re wack with their stats
Have to go back and sack ‘em ‘til the last (snap)
Main ingredients, Justin, Chad and Aaron Isaac for that
(DJ scratch cutting up Huh-Hah)”
That little tribute/paraphrasing of EPMD’s “So What’cha Sayin’” should comprise most of the musical references in this post. My bad for disappearing for the bulk of the NFL playoffs. Meant to write something several times in January, but either was in awe, under deadline, or dealing of the consequences of being social during playoff games. Not that I minded, it was a great experience, even if it made jersey selection a more difficult task when watching games. As far as the Super Bowl goes, despite any conflicts between my heart and head regarding the outcome of the game, I was wearing my #92 Michael Strahan jersey while losing my breath and voice during that incredible 4th quarter.
So, even if it’s a few weeks late, congratulations to the World Champion New York Giants. In addition to bringing the Lombardi Trophy back to the Tri State area—appropriate considering that Vince was a Fordham, St. Cecilia, West Point and Giants man before making the Frozen Tundra or a certain rest stop on the New Jersey Turnpike famous—the G-men brought out the fans in everybody. I can’t even count how many people—non football fans, non sports fans, savants watching only for commercials—have told me how much they enjoyed watching the game. Now this may have been partly due to the New England Patriot’s pursuit of perfection and the fact that two of the nation’s larger markets’ teams were playing for the title. Heck, there may have even been a huge segment of the Today Show tuning in to gauge Tiki Barber’s reaction win or lose. As for why I’ve been told this, folks either think I’m an expert (I’m not), know me well enough to ask “Oh, you like football, right?” or ask what song would I pick for this game (for the record, it’s a toss up between Public Enemy’s “By The Time I get to Arizona” and EPMD’s “It’s Going Down”, 2 new selections for the ’08).
As for the 18-1 AFC Champion Patriots, look at it this way. They got their collective butts kicked for the better parts of three quarters and some change and still were a play or two away from literally winning it all. They can take some solace in the fact that it took one of the greatest plays in Super Bowl history to derail them. They can also take the approach that a Bill Belichick and Tom Brady led team shouldn’t be in that position, based on the type of year they’d had. On the other hand, Tom Coughlin, Eli Manning, Spags defensive unit and the offense as a whole never got the memo. So instead of making history, the Pats have become history. Not of their three title teams—no asterisks until something is proved one way or another—but of the ’68 Baltimore Colts (so they will be in company with a Don Shula coached team), the ’83 Redskins (which also featured a few record breakers of its own) the ’90 Buffalo Bills and the 2001 St. Louis Rams (rather ironic, considering the similarities of both of the latter teams with this edition of the Patriots). They’re also victims of reenactments of historic games/drives led by the Manning Brothers. One year after Peyton and Company completed that epic final drive in the AFC Championship game—Manning to Addai was a few yards short of a dead ringer for Unitas to Ameche—Another Manning to Burress touchdown was shades of Montana to Taylor (at 39 seconds, no less, or the same time that I began losing my voice). Anyway, they’ve done a lot of great things over the past couple of seasons and I sympathize with guys like Randy Moss, Wes Welker and Junior Seau who signed on to get a ring and came up empty. That being said, it’ll be great to see players and coaches that fans in the area know on a regular basis—beyond just game days—profiled in America’s Game on the NFL Network. My early guess on interviewees; Coughlin, Manning, and Strahan (first team) alternates, Pierce, Osi (not trying to butcher that last name that last name), Burress, Jerry Reese, Jacobs, Tyree, Webster., John Mara
Finally, thanks to the Giants for finally removing the shadow of Bill Parcells from the franchise’s psyche. As was the case in New England, once upon a time, it was a former Parcells guy doing the deed and smiling more than he probably ever did during his first go-round with the franchise. But, now we’ll never hear the end of it from Mercury Morris! Shula, Czonka, even Buoniconti I can live with, but Morris? Before this season he was better known for his prison sentence than any spokesman for perfection or Perfectville. Ah well, guess you can’t have it all. Just ask the Patriots, who probably could’ve used a healthy Sammy Morris in the backfield.
I know I wrote earlier in the season that no team was going undefeated or unvictorious, but I was a couple of plays away from being proved wrong on both counts. So I’m right, but not particularly vindicated. One thing I’m glad to be wrong about thus far; Sundays without football haven’t been as bad as I feared this time around. Given the right company, they’ve been pretty, pretty good, so far. But yes, I’m looking forward to some March Madness, opening day of baseball and the NFL Draft, pronto. Shoot, I wouldn’t mind another slam-dunk competition. Dwight Howard—er, Superman—for President! There’s a new way to blow out the candles, huh?
Ok, enough looking back now. Here’s a music free look at what each NFC team needs to think about/improve on in the ’08 offseason. The AFC comes in another post, under orders from Arlen Specter and Roger Goodell.
NFC
New York Giants—Since it’ll be impossible to go through the entire ’08 season with just one interception, keeping Plax healthy, signing Coughlin to an extension and reinforcing that offensive line is key. Keeping Spags in the fold was huge (had the late George Young done the same with Belichick and/or Coughlin following Super Bowl XXV, we might’ve been spared the error of Ray Handley. Even as a novice football fan, I thought that was a bad move). Also, everyone should enjoy all the spoils of victory coming their way, especially the free lapdances. Just don’t forget what got them to the title once workouts begin.
Dallas Cowboys—Maybe it’s best if T.O. does talk to the press before any big game that the Cowboys have in ’08. Because we’ve seen what happens when he keeps his mouth shut, apart from the “Get’cha Popcorn Ready” declarations. The results have been great for Giants, Patriots and Eagles fans, though. Tony Romo’s dating life was not the reason for the team’s 4th quarter collapse—season and playoff game—but he has now come up short twice in the playoffs when the ‘Boys needed onemoreplay to advance in the playoffs (granted, this time he had some help from Patrick Crayton). As much of a joke as Dave Campo was as the worst head coach in franchise history, his return as defensive backs coach is a great move. The man knows defense and Roy Williams needs his help. Finally, Jerry Jones better be careful that the departure of more Tuna picked players, coaches and scouts to Miami or parts unnamed doesn’t lead to a return of the Jerry and Barry/Chan/Campo show. Keeping Jason Garrett for at least another year definitely helps
Washington Redskins—Not sure what to recommend here because I don’t know what this franchise is doing. Joe Gibbs chooses to retire, no problem. Dan Snyder passes on Gregg Williams despite 4 interviews. Unorthodox, but it’s his team. Darrell Green and Art Monk get voted into the Hall of Fame. Expected for the ageless wonder, long overdue for Monk. Then the mystery candidate for head coach is revealed to be Jim Fassell? I happen to think that Fassell is a good man and above average coach, but c’mon. The ‘Skins braintrust had a birds eye view of Fassell’s unremarkable tenure as the Ravens offensive coordinator. And those of us in the NYC area know that he knows how to win in the NFC East, collapse in the playoffs, and still find a way to avoid the firing line. So, what do the Redskins ultimately do? Pass on Spags, only to go with their hand picked offensive coordinator Jim Zorn. Still scratching my head on this one, as much for the selection (although Zorn has great pedigree, coming from Seattle) as why they hired their coordinators first. Danny boy is following JJ’s lead again; how long before the Botox settles in? If they trade for Chad Johnson and make another jersey obsolete—move over Santana Moss, you may have company—there’ll be one even more disgruntled ‘Skins critic. In conclusion, the White House isn’t the only DC institution in need of a new administration.
Philadelphia Eagles—This one is simple. If they’re going to keep Donovan McNabb, he needs more playmakers at wide receiver, either through free agency or the draft. Honestly, they need a better track record in both areas. They also need to feature Brian Westbrook in the play-calling regardless of who’s behind center. Also, make sure and invite Romo’s latest girlfriend to both Cowboys games (I know it had no effect on what happened on the field, but it never hurts.) Finally, if Andy Reid needs to do a better job coaching from start to finish, then the talking/writing/podcasting heads need to get off his back regarding his family situation and whether he’s still suitable to coach. If both he and the front office believe that he’s the man, that ought to be good enough. Then again, we are talking about Philly, so what do I know?
NFC North
Green Bay Packers—For future references, when a one legged receiver goes 11 for 154 on one good ankle in the conference championship game, you might want to think about changing tactics. As good as Al Harris and Charles Woodson were, it’s never too early to get younger in the secondary. Also, loved Ryan Grant’s performance down the stretch—well, not the entire stretch—but that running back position needs some help. Even the offensive line might use some reinforcements. With Mike McCarthy’s contract extended, the only worry is #4’s return and can they build on last year’s performance. At least they won’t have to face the Giants again, but they’ve got to bring that postseason fear factor back to Lambeau Field. The Pack is just 3-3 at home in the playoffs this Millenium following an undefeated run under Lombardi and Holmgren in the 1900s (okay ‘60s and ‘90s, to be exact). That being said, this team has a good chance to improve on that mark in years to come.
Minnesota Vikings—Passing game improvements, passing game improvements, passing game improvements. On both sides of the ball. The famed Jackson to Wade combination isn’t going to scare Tarkenton or Culpepper anytime soon. And if opponents can’t go around that front seven, they’ll travel by air, so the secondary could stand some improvement. Otherwise, just keep Adrian Peterson and Chester Taylor healthy this off-season and everything should be good to go.
Detroit Lions—With Mike Martz gone, the offense needs to show a semblance of a balanced attack, without going too far towards the run that the passing game suffers. But the defense—Rod Marinelli’s bread and butter—is in desperate need of repair following a 1-7 slide. At least there’s talent on offense. If Matt Millen drafts another receiver, there could be another “uprising” in the streets of Detroit. On the other hand, most of the area’s sports fans will probably be at a Pistons first round playoff game come Draft Day, so no worries. Unless you’re Shaun Rogers.
Chicago Bears—Plenty of decisions to be made at quarterback, running back, wide receiver, offensive line. Apart from that, they’re in great shape, especially in the defensive line. Might another Marty Booker sighting be in the cards? Didn’t mean to keep this one so short, but Bears fans have either heard this all before or are counting down to the Cubs opening day.
NFC South
Tampa Bay Buccaneers—In hindsight, it may not have been the best idea to pull starters at halftime. So, regardless of how the ’08 campaign turns out, play everybody until the final gun/whistle. Also, Coach Gruden, the next time you decide to appoint a Barber as team spokesman, think again. Now that the defense is re-energized and Monte Kiffen isn’t going anywhere, focus on the offense. Backup quarterback, receiver, running back and offensive line help would be a sight for sore eyes. Oh, and Jeremy Shockey, anyone?
Carolina Panthers—Keep Jake Delhomme healthy. Get him some offensive line assistance, receiver help—Muhsim Muhammad the sequel, Alge Crumpler—and a power running back if John Fox is returning to his power football roots. Because right now there isn’t one on the roster. Finally, let Julius Pepper know that he needs to play like Dwight Freeney to get Freeney-like pay. This is coming from a J-pep fan. A healthy middle linebacker wouldn’t hurt either.
New Orleans Saints—Help on defense and in the running back corps could be in order. “08 doesn’t have to be a terrible year for all Bushes. More than anything, Sean Payton and company need to stop trying to be pretty and get back to being effective. Because effective play is the foundation for all of the big plays that defined ’06, not so much in ’07. If they get resurrect that winning formula, every home game should have the electricity of the recent NBA All Star Weekend—even in London.
Atlanta Falcons—The recent housecleaning of players is a step in the right direction. Mike Smith may turn out to be a fine head coach, despite Marcellus Wiley’s protests to the contrary. Kinda disturbing that the main reason he was hired was because of his compatability with the new GM. Not that this isn’t critical in any coaching hire, but there are other factors. Again, there are too many specific recommendations to make here. All I can say about the Falcons’ moves thus far are, a) while this mess may have started with Michael Vick, it’s not all his fault and b) Rob Ryan must’ve done something to ruffle Arthur Blank’s feathers. He seemed like the perfect fit to get this franchise—any of the teams looking for a coach, to be honest—going for the long hall. No pun intended, DeAngelo.
NFC West
Seattle Seahawks—Well, it’s Mike Holmgren’s last hurrah and they’ve got vacancies at running back and quarterback coaches. Long term, the franchise is in good hands with Jim Mora, Jr. As long as Ty Willingham doesn’t get fired, that is. The running game needs serious work—neither Shaun Alexander nor the offensive line have been the same since Steve Hutchinson left town. This year was a flat out embarrassment for the ground attack. They also need to shore up that defensive front. Once flurries became an all out blizzard at Green Bay, the pass rush was stuck in neutral. Still, this is the NFC West and the passing game is still in good hands. Nine to ten wins is the probable range, so long as they upgrade at tight end.
Arizona Cardinals—Yes, there was a championship game played at the Cardinal’s stadium. Yes, the team was much improved over the team that was who we thought they were in ’06. No, this team did not participate in said championship game.Now they have to get from loveable non-loser status to winner. They need to decide if they want to be a passing team with Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald—regardless of who’s at quarterback—or a running team with Edge and Russ Grimm’s offensive line. Defensively, they need a healthy Adrian Wilson and a permanent position for Antrell Rolle to flourish in. Oh, and beating the 49ers wouldn’t hurt.
San Francisco 49ers—Another team with a bunch of ifs in ’08. If Mike Nolan can focus on being a coach instead of a dual role, they’ll be okay. If Mike Martz can get something out of that wide receiver corps and utilize Frank Gore like Marshall Faulk, they can compete. If Defensive Rookie of the Year Patrick Willis can replace Derek Smith at linebacker and in the locker room, they might compete for a playoff spot. If they don’t overpay many free agents and draft well, they’ve got a shot—oh, scratch that last part. Their first round pick is in New England. In short, they’re past the “can make something happen” level and knee deep in the “need to make something happen” purgatory.
St. Louis Rams—Stay healthy and learn Al Saunders offensive system. Getting Torry Holt and Steven Jackson back to being regular fantasy stalwarts. Having Orlando Pace last the entire first game, let alone the entire season. Have Marc Bulger live up to his contract and Scott Linehan be a head coach instead of a head divider. Jim Haslett’s defense had its moments down the stretch, but it’ll need to have many more of them on the road to respectability.
The AFC’s got next, probably by Friday. But first, a moment of silence for the end of the Jason Kidd era of the New Jersey Nets. Two Finals appearances, several division crowns and a couple of MVP caliber seasons. Playoffs every year even when the conference finals were a pipe dream. Without question, the best six and a half seasons of Nets basketball happened under his watch, even if it came during the Eastern Conference’s down years. Best of luck in Dallas, J-Kidd. Trust me, we’ll still be watching.
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